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View Full Version : I bought a bird feeder!



sLoWnStEaDy
05-20-2008, 11:39 PM
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table,
and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table ....everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the
bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be.... quiet, serene and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.

Now let's see. Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegal’s came by the tens of thousands.. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for
free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools
because over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'Old Glory' are squawking and s creaming
in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

Snowman
05-21-2008, 08:18 AM
100% in agreement.

RandomHero
05-21-2008, 09:14 AM
100% in agreement.
x2 :bigthumb:

Ricky
05-21-2008, 09:33 AM
WOW that was put the best way i have ever heard in a long time. Im with the others... 100% agreement.

DustinsDuster
05-21-2008, 05:44 PM
metaphors are awesome.

Stutz
05-23-2008, 01:24 AM
I thought it was press one for spanish, press two for english.