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DustinsDuster
12-20-2007, 12:17 AM
i had to post this somewhere and myspace blogs are down, so here goes:

i pulled the stove out of my storage garage to put at the new place. unfortunatly for me; three years in storage had not been kind to the oven, and the thing was completely filthy. i went out to clean it and found a dead mouse in the drawer underneath the door. and it was full of mouse crap. shitty, but oh well. i pulled it out, threw it in the back of my truck with plans take it to the car wash the next day and spray it all out.

well the next day was today, and i went to the local carwash that has enclosed booths for washing cars in winter. i got a few bucks in change, opened one of the doors and pulled my truck in. about then i notice a pile of what looks like DVD cases sitting on a ledge in the stall. i get out of my truck to have a look and find them to be porn DVDs. i figured someone was just going to throw the cases away or something and forgot. i opened one up and was surprised to find the DVD actually in it.

now is where i grow a little paranoid. was someone trying to set a trap for me? were there hidden cameras? who the fuck leaves porno at the carwash? is this "To catch a pervert?" im no sex offender; im just a guy. what guy would say no to free porn? i look through the other stalls and see no one else is there, but i am still not sold. i left them sitting there; as if someone would actually have the balls to walk in while i was in there and ask "hey man, have you seen a stack of porno DVD's sitting around here?". if they had the balls to ask, i would give them to him; but i just dont see it happening.

i left the DVD's alone, and walk over to put some quarters in the machine; and am surprised again to find a stack of tokens sitting there. each token is worth 3 minutes of time, and then i realized it. it was a sign from above. the gods were speaking to me. and they were saying "hurry Dustin! wash the mouse shit out of that drawer quickly so you can go home and watch 'CUM FACED BITCHES!'". not only did i not have to pay to wash that drawer(and my truck, floor mats and ratchet strap out of the back of my truck), there were still 3 tokens left over, so i'll get to wash my truck for free some other time as well!

i seriously cant make this shit up. this is the kind of thing that happens to me all the time and sounds so rediculous. who the fuck finds porno at the car wash?

By the way; if anyone wants a copy of "CUM GOATEE", "CUM CARNIVAL", "MORE THAN A HANDFULL(all women in the DVD are D-cups or better!)", or "CUM FACED BITCHES AND HOT SLUTS!", let me know. buy me lunch or some beer sometime and you can have them.

Ricky
12-20-2007, 12:40 AM
hahaha dustin your stories are always the best.

Luminatorz34
12-20-2007, 07:58 AM
LMAO, that was great..i would be leary of a stack of pornos too. i find quarters and tokens all the time at the car wash...but porn? nope haha. haha enjoy them

DustinsDuster
12-20-2007, 08:03 AM
i am sure im going to end up giving them away to someone. porn like that doesnt do much much good other than to laugh at. i skimmed through a couple of them and they were complete with shitty music and bad acting as well; not to mention the obnoxiously large fake tits and all. one of them actually had a menu! i couldnt resist, i had to check out the "special features"(like they would have commentary or something?), and there was a slide show of stills from the movie. freaking classic.

Drifte
12-20-2007, 10:48 AM
haha thats great. kinda reminds me of one of my days. I was riding my bike and saw disc on the side of the road, it was a dvd. so i picked it up. little ways further i found the cover for the disc, it was porn. About 100 yards ahead of me was the home of the owner of woodies/lumberyard2...coincidence? THen i was washing my girlfriends car and found a stack of quarters.

not as cool as yours, but combined im having nearly the strange days you do.

Inferno333
12-20-2007, 12:56 PM
Jeez...Nothing like that happens to me. I think I need to get out more...

amoander
12-20-2007, 01:44 PM
I envy you Dustin, by the way do you have The Dirty Sanchez II?? Just curious. lol That is just crazy, i would have been wayy to paranoid to take them.

DustinsDuster
12-20-2007, 01:56 PM
no i dont. let me know if you ever see "Cleveland Steamer's 4" though. heard that one has a few Rusty Fishhooks and Broken Trombones thrown in for good measure.

amoander
12-20-2007, 05:35 PM
Ill write that down Dustin lol.

Stutz
12-22-2007, 02:48 AM
Im glad my old collection went to a good home

DustinsDuster
12-22-2007, 01:43 PM
i just want to know why anyone would leave it there of all places. im guessing they were cleaning out their car and set it aside to clean out there car and forgot them, but then again, why are you driving around with porn in your car?

Inferno333
12-22-2007, 03:18 PM
Because you can...?

sLoWnStEaDy
12-22-2007, 04:41 PM
I have about the exact opposite of luck as you... One time i did find porn but it was male gay porn. Another time i dropped like 15 minutes worth of coins down into one of the drains in the middle of the bay. Lastly i had just finished washing my car and pulled out of the bay only to be hit by some stupid 16 year old bitch that just got her liscense and apparently didnt see the "EXIT ONLY" sign!

point being.... YOU SUCK! OH... i did find a Hitler Youth knife once though! Still have that bad boy!! (not an ACTUAL one of course, a "replica")

sLoWnStEaDy
12-22-2007, 04:43 PM
ibut then again, why are you driving around with porn in your car?

My budy had a flip down 10.5" monitor in his Cutlass... He used to drive around with "porn" (usualy GGW) playing all the time. It was pretty funny, he about got his ass beat once due to a little kid seeing it and the father of said kis not being too happy about that...

DustinsDuster
12-22-2007, 04:56 PM
point being.... YOU SUCK!

yeah, i have to admit, its pretty awesome being me most of the time.

logans dad
12-22-2007, 05:24 PM
Thats why I have to give you crap once in a while Dustin. Your just a lucky guy lol.

69gt4speed
12-22-2007, 11:34 PM
Its probably that stuff they give u at the lumberyard. I hear they hand it out to ya.

"yeah, i have to admit, its pretty awesome being me most of the time."

I can remember one night this yr. it wasn't so cool. Too bad I don't have a video chief.
Merry Christmas btw.

69gt4speed
12-23-2007, 12:53 PM
Hey Dustin, I admit that was a low blow. Like me breakin that halfshaft vs that bike at cordova.

DustinsDuster
12-23-2007, 07:58 PM
honestly, i can probably count the number of street races i have WON on one hand. im always the underdog taking on faster cars. i like it that way; it doesnt matter as much if i lose. the whole, "build low expectations so you can overshoot them" thing.

melhoneybee
12-24-2007, 11:55 PM
oh you boys and your toys... love ya all..always good for a good laugh! =D

DustinsDuster
12-25-2007, 01:42 AM
toys? if i am not mistaken, you are the only one on this board whos ever hosted a sex-toy party.

i dont have any toys; my hands seem to get the job done pretty well...

foxsgurl
12-28-2007, 08:39 PM
Brett said he wished he found them!