I just need a way to vent

[Luminatorz34]

Well, i need to vent, and just want someone to talk to basically...Ive been unemployed since the beginning of december (was a farmhand and loved my job, but it was seasonal work) well im sure the no job has alot to do with how im feeling lately. i got diagnosed with bipolar and depression last september as some of you may rememebr that thread i started about that. well being as i have that shit i cant focus for anything at all. i recently got a job this week (started pay at 8.50/hr my official lowest paying job ever!) which pissed me off, i have experience for tons of shit and i get offered a entry position that pays shit that involved me sitting in a corner by myself all day pounding rivets into these gay ass wall anchors..tried to tough it out convincing myself its a job, its money, but it made me more pissed off when i thought about that.

the fact that i have filled out easily over 50 apps recently, and every employer i send them too, i feel as tho im well qualified for it,and that im a quick learner if i dont have all the experience thwey need, but alway get the "sorry your not qualified" email or letter in the mail....the area of iowa im in (north eastern iowa) sucks ass for jobs. there will be maybe tops of 10 jobs posted weekly on iowa workforce....i dont even like the area im in...i see iowa city, and cedar rapids have hundreds of jobs posted weekly, and id love to get back down there, cuz i felt as though i had friends in that area. and thats a big part up here, my parents are my friends, and well my wife, yeah shes so damn busy i dont ever get to talk to her, because of the fact she has to work tons of jobs to pay our bills...

so im basically wanting to hopefully get a new start somewhere, but the part of having no money stops me dead in my tracks everytime and causes a huge amount of depression for me. i really lost track of where i was wanting to go with this. cuz im just so clusterfucked on what i truly want anymore. i guess i want to be happy, and my wife keeps ayig she wants to see me happy, but the thing is im not happy where im at. at all...i guess i over react on things due to me being home all day everyday, and to the poitn i dont even know what to do anymore...i have stuff that i want to do to my yukon, but then when it comes to doing it, i dont want to. same goes for my camaro. lack the drive to do anything......im actually contemplating selling the camaro which is one of the last things i have that makes me happy, move and start out somewhere else....oh man im tired of rambling and dont know what to do here anymore....i believe there is a newer term out there that goes like...fuck, my life??? im pretty sure that sums it up for me

[Luminatorz34]

i also feel completly worthless, and unwanted.....kinda like if i disappeared noone would notice?????? i have no clue what im doing

[FiFdYnUtZ]

in most cases those feelings are directly connected to your conditions, if you havent seeked help, get it. i have had serious experience with the ultimate consequences it can have....things get tough, look on the bright side of things, and dont think so much...i have found that to a certain extent forgetting/ignoring things can be good in moderation...be sure not to let it ruin your relationships or anything else too...not sure if this is of any help but in a way i understand what you mean

[SaNdMaNsSi]

The conditions you are speaking of (loss of job, depression, etc) all really come hand in hand. You lose your job, you get depressed. You look for work and can't find it, it makes you feel a little less self-worth. Constant rejection from your applications makes you feel less and less worthwhile. The job market is terrible right now, so you can't tell yourself that it's because of "you" that you can't find the job you want. Not many people can- Fortunately, the job market will turn around in the next few years after the typical gov't led fear-mongering goes away. A shitty job might be a shitty job, but do it the best you can. Show your employer you're not some entry level guy and hopefully they will see the quality of work you do and give you more responsibility.
Now's where I get all psychologist on you- This time of year is bad for bipolar people anyways. People are actually affected by the time of year. In a lot of cases people with depression and bipolar disorder can also be diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Just means the gloomy feeling of this time of year actually affects some people. You need to take that into consideration as well. On top of that, since I don't know you personally, you may or may not have been the breadwinner of the family in the past. When the female becomes the top earner, it makes a lot of guys unsatisfied with themselves, leads to depression, and is actually near the top of reasons why relationships are stressed between husband and wife. Don't let your situation affect your relationship, its the strongest thing you have to combat how you're feeling. You just need to change your way of thinking. So what if your job sucks and you aren't bringing in all of the cash? Do other things that make you feel like a success. Be the one who goes to the store every week: Be the one that keeps the place spotless. Run errands: Visit the wife at work when she doesn't expect you to come by. Make her your "job." She makes you happy, right? Sooner or later better things will come around. You just need to focus on the successes in the now that will help get you by until you realize the successes that are coming. If you're really bored, just work for free somewhere or donate your time. Could be just a couple hours a week, but people will really appreciate it and you'll feel great about yourself. Sure it's not a paycheck, but making other people's lives better increases the happiness of yours as well.


That'll be 200.00

[Drifte]

"Do other things that make you feel like a success. Be the one who goes to the store every week: Be the one that keeps the place spotless. Run errands: Visit the wife at work when she doesn't expect you to come by. Make her your "job." She makes you happy, right?"

good advice.

I find donating to be the only upper. Tv's a downer for me, have to accomplish something, really anything and Im good. My girl makes more than me, I dont care, I spend less, or make some on the side. Heck, my basement dweller makes probably twice as much as me.

[85XR7Project]

Since I don't live that far from you I hope I can help a tad, I know Hypro in CF is hiring and you could always get a job doing something at the casino in Waterloo. Try applying at GMT Corp in Waverly too, I know they hire just about anybody as long as they can breathe and they pay pretty damn good too. Just hang in there man, it has to get better.

[NitrousMike]

go for a run, maybe lift some weights. Keep your mind off the shit.

[NitrousMike]

go get a hooker.

[DustinsDuster]

i responded to this spam email just to post it up here and make you happy:

--- On Fri, 2/5/10, Kat M. <abcnn@inka.com> wrote:


From: Kat M. <abcnn@inka.com>
Subject: i like you
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com, xxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com, xxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com
Date: Friday, February 5, 2010, 11:57 AM



Privet, my friend

It’s okay ... you dont have to stop starting ... that just means you’re interested. May be than try to get to know each other? I am an easy-going, energetic, kind, quick-witted and smart girl with healthy lifestyle. I like listening to music and going to the movies. I am really fond of nature and go in sport.I enjoy cooking and dream about taking care of my beloved man. I am looking for a simple, understanding and reliable man with a good sense of humor and serious attitude to family. Find me here waiting-you.net/kisses/

Hugs
Katrina


whats your stance on doing dishes and my laundry all the time? i probably wouldnt care about you much either. we should hang out, your opinion doesnt matter.

Dustin

[DustinsDuster]

i also found a pic of a cute blonde in a tape bra for you:

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/428737/80906209.jpg

[Deimos]

Not bad

[Luminatorz34]

haha thanks guys...in a weird way it kinda feel like people care about me? but yes i do appreciate what everyone has said...it is hard to keep my mind off of shit thats wrong or negative at the moment...i forced myself to get the camaro out of the garage today to do some much needed cleaning in there...that helped a bit. but then my mom came over to bitch me out about quitting that gay ass job, so that pushed me right back into that slump....but yeah, im trying to keep my head up, and will try different shit to keep my mind occupied, so thanks again

[sLoWnStEaDy]

:bigthumb:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWhUqo9Aivs

[Drifte]

Morrre pics.

Other mind distractors: cleaning, running, organizing, biking, driving(except when your cars the prob), music ... Idk anything you like.

[z28z34man]

I am sorry man that is rough, but we are all here for you. when you have a bad day come here and vent. I know I will always read it.

[Luminatorz34]

lol keith, i dont have any cryptoconica.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93jQI_6G5Cw

[sparkles]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uLQOYtpZsA

[Luminatorz34]

^ gay

[SaNdMaNsSi]

katt williams= not funny.

[sLoWnStEaDy]

katt williams= not funny.

I think you meant "Dane Cook = not funny" this little monkey is funny as shit!

[NewSpeedSteed]

Dustin posts one picture and the thread completely rebounds and all is well.

Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies.

[Luminatorz34]

well i had to do something to just keep my mind occupied...well i have the yukon, and i had all mny stereo equipment just sitting, so i did the stereo install in the yukon today. new deck, components, subs and amps. lil bitch sounds pretty good if i say so myself. i was having a problem with the rear tailgate not allowing the glass to lock into it, so anyone could have gotten into the truck if they wanted to, so i tore the tailgate apart and found one clip had popped out of its hole. put it back in and no the glass is lockable. so im pretty proud of myself for today. we will see how tonite goes, being as i have nothing to do now :(

[n8kerns]

I have to agree with everyone that said clean, it's helped me a lot when I get down. Its time consuming, gives you a feeling of accomplishment and a dirty house is just depressing in itself. Another small thing I do when I'm starting to get down, open windows. Something about natural light that is just soothing.
Another thing I do to keep my mind busy is research. Recently I bought a new mouse-pad, I spent a good 3 hours researching mouse-pads and the different kinds, pro's con's. Even if your not buying something you can learn something new. If I can find 3 hours worth of information on mouse-pad's just think of how much time you could spend on something bigger. =P

Just a few idea's to consider. =)

[Luminatorz34]

thanks man, i appreciate it